A Ticking Time Bomb in Leadership: Ego

By Kirsten Stendevad, author and leadership developer

In a time when the world faces major challenges, leadership is an art that requires a deep understanding of human relationships and the mechanisms that drive us. One of the most crucial factors in this equation is the ego.

The ego is a necessary part of the psyche, helping us navigate and protect our self-esteem. It can motivate leaders to take risks and set ambitious goals, but when the ego is allowed to run unchecked, it can create conflict, arrogance, and ultimately destruction. When the ego feels threatened, it can lead to feelings of inferiority, and when a person gains power, it can develop into megalomania. Both can have fatal consequences for an organization.

When a person gains power, their psychological dynamics often shift, amplifying the ego’s negative aspects. Some typical pitfalls include:

1. Excessive Self-Perception: Power can give a leader a sense of superiority, leading them to place themselves above others. The ego constantly seeks validation of its superiority, resulting in arrogance and the belief that the leader cannot be wrong. This blocks criticism and hinders constructive feedback from colleagues or employees.

2. Psychological Distance: Leaders obsessed with power and status create psychological distance from others. They may lose the ability to see the world from others’ perspectives and develop a lack of empathy, harming relationships with employees and collaborators. This distance fosters a culture of fear and distrust, stifling innovation and cooperation.

3. Megalomania: One of the most dangerous consequences is the development of megalomania. The ego becomes trapped in the belief that the leader is infallible and that their position protects them from the consequences of their actions. This can lead to risky and irresponsible decisions that, in the worst case, endanger the entire organization.

While there are examples of leaders who have managed their egos responsibly, there are also many cases where ego has led to power abuse and harmful behavior. Here are three typical examples:

1. Men Blocking Women’s Advancement: Unfortunately, it is not uncommon to see male leaders who resist promoting talented female employees, even when their skills and results speak for themselves. Often, it is the ego and fear of losing status that play a role. A leader may feel threatened by a female colleague’s success and seek to maintain power by blocking her advancement. This is a typical manifestation of the ego, where personal position and pride are prioritized over what is best for the organization.

2. Women Not Supporting Other Women: Ego is not only a challenge for male leaders; women can also fall into its traps. Examples exist of women in positions of power who do not wish to help other women advance. Here, other women’s potential is seen as a threat to one’s own position. Instead of supporting each other, the ego protects the achieved power by avoiding granting opportunities to others, creating a toxic culture where potential is lost, and the community suffers.

3. Older Men and “Favoritism” in Politics and Business: Another classic example is older male leaders giving favors to friends in politics or business. Instead of hiring the most qualified individuals, they often favor friends and acquaintances. While not necessarily malicious, this demonstrates how ego and power relations can undermine objectivity and fairness. Loyalty to personal networks is placed above the interests of the whole, harming leadership quality and trust in the organization or political system.

4. The “Black Swan” and Unconscious Power Structures: Taleb’s concept of the “Black Swan” illustrates how unforeseen events can shake systems built on hidden power structures and ego-driven behavior. In Danish politics, for instance, networks and alliances among those in power often exclude new, talented voices. Those in power may protect their position rather than embrace new ideas and innovation due to fear of losing control. This fear is the ego’s defense mechanism, but it is also an obstacle to progress and sustainable development.

These examples show how the ego can tempt us all to protect our own positions, even at the expense of the greater good. Recognizing these temptations—regardless of gender, age, or position—requires courage and self-awareness. It takes conscious effort to focus on the collective rather than personal gain.

From Competition to Collaboration

Today, it is more important than ever to move away from ego-driven competition and focus on collaboration and community. The global challenges we face, such as climate change and social inequality, require unity. Leadership is no longer about competing but understanding that what we do to others ultimately affects ourselves.

From Ego to Essence

To avoid the pitfalls of ego, leaders must take responsibility and shift their focus from ego to essence. Essence is the level where we are connected to our values and intentions to create value for the whole. But this journey requires external support. Leaders must recognize their blind spots and seek guidance from mentors, colleagues, and coaches who are willing to be honest and challenge them. Only then can we create a culture where community, responsibility, and humility are central, enabling us to lift each other and build stronger, more sustainable organizations.

Conclusion

The next evolutionary task for leaders is clear: we must move from ego-driven leadership to leadership grounded in essence—the deepest level of our being, where we create value for everyone around us. Only by shifting from ego to essence can we unlock the full potential of organizations, employees, and ourselves. Let us take the first steps toward a new reality, where leadership is about serving the greater good.